I had what would’ve been a perfectly lovely Mother’s Day. Hubby got up bright and early, snuck out of the house to get ingredients and cooked me a scrumptious breakfast. I got beautiful flowers and a lovely card – written with love. I was over-the-moon type of delighted. That was, until I started going on social media and I saw what everyone else did on Mother’s Day. (I’m ashamed to type this) but suddenly, it didn’t seem enough.
When I look back on my one and a bit years of my motherhood journey, the majority of pain, angst, frustration and sadness have been caused by comparisons. It’s not that I set out to compare, or that I’m jealous, or that I don’t want others to do well…..but I do find that I measure myself against others’ lives and then I get sad about it.
I’ve been trying to work out why this is, because this beast has only really reared its ugly head recently. Maybe my increasing use of Instagram is the main culprit 😉 I want one of those minimalistic lives! Complete with a perfectly neutral wardrobe and wholesome, healthy meals made from scratch. Instead, I have a cluttered house, a wardrobe full of clothes only half of which I wear, and some nights we succumb to take-out. Maybe it’s because I no longer work a full-time job, that I’m seeking external validation from some place else? Or maybe, I’m just so darn clueless about parenting that I’m looking to other people to try and work it out….
Whatever the case, here are the things I’ve found helpful.
Implement this: 1) Be more aware of when I’m comparing. 2) When I notice that I’m comparing, acknowledge the thoughts (but don’t judge myself/tell myself off for the thought), instead refocus my attention on the things that I do have.
Learn this: That being imperfect is perfectly okay.
Trust this: ‘Enough’ is (really) enough. There will always be bigger and better things that I can strive for, The magic to happiness is being content with the now and being satisfied with the enough.
Focus on this: My strengths. Celebrate them. Like what a Bobbi Brown makeup class once taught me, it’s better to flaunt my assets, than to hide my flaws (ha! so I did learn something from that class).
Read this: Zen Habits wrote a brilliant post on Life’s Enough: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
I want to learn this lesson well because I don’t want bubba to grow up feeling that I’m comparing her to others. She is her own person, and I want her to be uniquely her x